I am blogging once again...

Canceled the idea of making this a photo blog as I myself do not own a camera and I really do not cam whore thou i like taking pictures lol...

will fark care about the style and English i type here as this is blog is now going to let me vent and process my thoughts.

Not mend for anyone to read so if anyone who come here please close this window.

Life good, life bad haha...

what the shit right? well I really confused...

I always thought I have grown after all I am 21 now but that's not really the case and my hands are still tight thou it is looser now.

a few things i still do not get it...

things like:
1) my family and parents!
2) myself
3)my so called love-life and relationship

I am grateful and fortunate just like those people who refers me as 'got money people'...

But that's not me...

I do not starve, I got clothes to wear... there's nth else I would really ask for...

But as i grow older, the sense of my individuality kicks in, I so want to be independent thou it is the harder route and I may fall in the end.

Every money I spend of my parents I am really guilty cause it is their hard earn money...

I really ashame to have to depend on them to pay for my everyday needs as I am now earning.
Yes, it is just merely $500 but I am living pretty well.

the last thing I need them to pay is the school fees for my university which a lot but i swear i will pay them back. ( really taking it as a bank loan with interest free, or a scholarship which I was awarded so I will treasure it... and study hard this time... after all it is the last stretch of road.)

after enlisting into army, I got so much free time in my life that it really starts to get bored... if I were studying, it will be so darn cool as at least I would have something to do, something to focus on unlike army which is not what I want in life.

I miss studying...... haha i dun even believe myself... but i do....

I STILL FREAKING HATE PEOPLE WHO SAY that my parents are my money and if they every *** those will be mine, thou there are truth in it but it still farking farking sux......
MAY U ALL BURN IN HELL...
they will still be my parents even if they are poor...
maybe if they are poor, I would not be so lay back as to what I am today...

If oneday I am poor... my kids will sure grubble as to how poor I am and how come his dad is not rich lol.... IRONY~

will cont soon on wed...

always felt like shouting, shouting my lungs out.
always felt like crying, crying my heart out.
so that's what I am doing now.
as I do not need to be strong...
Just being myself...
doing the things I want to do...
I am who I am...
So dun u farking tell me what to do...
My life will change from this point onwards...